i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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