please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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