I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
