put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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