take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
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