I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
