so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
