Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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