i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
