My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
