he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
