I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
