I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
