There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
