I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
