i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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