his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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