BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
