I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
