i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
