i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
