my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
