areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
