Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize