i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You've changed since you got that strap on
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
