She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
