Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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