two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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