wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
