Me too!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
