The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
