Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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