I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
