on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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