i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
