god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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