so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
