I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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