just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
