My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
a search helicopter?!
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
