I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
