I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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