So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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