Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
