Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
