I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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