Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
