He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
