Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
