ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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