can u get pink eye on your cock?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
